Rakvere Castle

On Sunday it was cooler and we went to see Rakvere castle. The trip almost did not happen when we got out of the house and saw literally every single school age kid dressed in region's gear hanging around the center. There was some kind of a national holiday going on (that they did not warn us about at the Information office a day prior).

They looked beautiful but they blocked the only road from the parking lot. We waited for an hour for a gap in their numbers and made a dash out past come traffic cop who turned around to pretend that he did not see us.

On the way we made a 15 kilometer detour to Palmse to try to get the best cheese Danish that we had last week. We were in luck – got the last 6 remaining ones and most of the cheesecake they had in the store. If you are in the area, definitely drop in, it sooo worth it.

After we got out of Palmse we stopped after seeing some blueberry bushes and picked us some blueberries. There were so many berries that you could sit on one spot and eat and eat and est. Don’t know if they have any nuclear power plants around but clover flowers were the size of plums.

Only the shell has remained from the old castle. But during renovations everything on the inside was rebuilt for the most part from wood. The castle is the prime example of a multi-media experience similar to the one we had at the Bastion tunnels. After coming in we immediately headed to the red-lantern district to the brothel that was built there recently.

We passed an alley of alluring medieval pictures on the subject and doors with pictures and the names of the lady-inhabitants inside. They were all locked except Dorothea’s. From behind that door we heard bits of the conversation that sounded like “Let me try that chastity belt on you to see if it fits.” “Now put your hand your wife’s behind, and now she is turning. Do you see that hare’s ass on her chest – gross. Isn’t that discouraging?” So we stayed around for the chance to speak with the learned woman.

After she was done with those customers, she spent some time with us sharing the delightful tidbits from that time period in line with her character. Not to say that they were really delightful but the way she was dressed and talked (in Russian) was hugely entertaining. Inside layout complete with a bath barrel for 2 and a 4 post bed was probably too luxurious for the time period.

After that she offered to take us to the barber to check how we were feeling and in we were in the need of some bloodletting. For the next venue she played the barber and offered to relieve my condition with some bloodletting from a vein. Some English tourists walked in and asked what she was doing seeing her clean out a rusty knife with  water from a dirty flask. I said that she was going to cut my veins. They stayed around to watch. Next she dipped the knife in the dark liquid from a second flask. She pressed on the inside of my hand and pulled the knife across leaving a dark streak to the loud gasp of the audience. It was expertly executed. The liquid was most likely iodine. Real fun to watch.

After that there was a torture museum with some horror rooms reminiscent of US fun parks, alchemy demonstration,  horseback riding, farm animals feeding, archery, candle and pottery making. We did not do most of them because we ran out of time. They basically have loads of different family oriented activities to choose from, some free and some modestly priced for 1.5 euro. You can also walk around the castle, enjoy beautiful views on the walls. They have cellar (viewable by candles) and armory – with lots of different sword types that you can try out. A great playground for kids and adults.  

Feeling a bit overwhelmed we got back in the car and drove to Toolse Castle. We never found it but did make another stop on the way, this time to pick the wild strawberries. Loads and load of them. Irina got so excited that she walked off in unknown direction and disappeared. After we ate our fill, we started calling for her and she did not respond. I suggested alien abduction but Georgia said that she has probably gone feral and will attack us. Fortunately Irina heard our car’s honking and appeared shortly. She did not go feral. She found a really great spot right on top of the anthill and ate her berries while fending off the ants.  

We finished the day at an Armenian restaurant while still on the road. A local variety of Kim Kardashian served our shishkebab and fries. At home we went to sleep at 8:30pm local.

On Monday the 4^th, there were no highlights. Maybe except a band of guys dressing up like babushkas and playing Beatles classing in a style of a military band. Just perfect!